Tig & Venus

Sons of Anarchy Tig & Venus 11/11 scene

Tuesday, November 11, 2014:  Sons Of Anarchy (above link is to a YouTube clip of the scene, that it appears someone - NOT ME- taped simply while watching their TV. Probably not legal, and might be removed by the SOA people for copyright infringement. I like it this particular version because it is closed-captioned)

Quite simply it was the best transgender/LBGTQ relationship scene I have ever seen.  Not only the way it was written, but also the way it was acted.  Hidden beneath a violent macho killing drug infused mess of Sons of Anarchy (which I am guessing its target audience is not the LGBTQ community, but more probably white straight dudes - but that’s a little judgmental of me, so I apologize).  I have read some reviews about this storyline and about this particular scene - and I see that I may be correct in this judgment:.  “boring”, “unrealistic”, “out of place”, and “what is the point?”       

First - viewers/readers - you need to comprehend that anyone can be gay or bi or pan or poly.  So yes, that burly crazed biker, who will kill you as soon as look at you, can very well be something other than straight.  Is it that insane to think that one of the gang might actually be attracted to something other than the porn stars/prostitutes that they have parading around every corner?  Not really.  
 Although, I do give the viewers the benefit of the doubt, they have accepted Venus for who she is.  There are no questions there.  She is a lovable transgender character.  At first, I know that the character of Venus was viewed as, and received as, a joke.  The guise of the show - the macho,  kill or be killed, or kill anyway -  biker club.  The drugs.  The prostitution.  The porn.  The violence.  So Venus - beautiful Venus just did not fit in.  She only fit in as a gag.  The character of a transgender/cross dressing prostitute that they used to do nasty things, or humiliate some enemy of theirs.  All very tongue and cheek; and “oh isn’t that funny.”  But a few seasons in, Venus has a developed backstory, and real depth as a character.  She is not just a side bar joke.  She is a legitimate genuine friend of the club.  The club accepts her as who she is, and utilizes her as they can.   Although Tig’s interest in Venus at first was also a joke.  It was “established” that Tig is a bit kinky.  The club knows that already.  It is accepted.  They don’t even think twice about it anymore.  Tig is Tig.   The first few times the viewers ‘see’ Tig and Venus together, it is off screen, alluded to.  We know what is happening, but it is subtle, and side-barred and not an issue.  It just is.

Human beings like to put things into boxes.  They like to categorize things and put them all in their places.  We like things simple.  Putting things in these boxes makes it easier to understand; it makes things less frightening and threatening.  For the longest time, the LGBTQ population struggled with this because they didn’t fit in those boxes.  This is still very much an issue for a lot of people today - but it is getting better. There are more diverse boxes to choose from.   And some cultures it is even better, and some cultures it's even worse.  

Love can be simple.  It just is love.  And sometimes, it fits into one of those boxes that society has given us.  And sometimes, it does not.  

When Tig is weirdly distant post-coitus.  It reeks of “buyer’s remorse”, and it is instantly and immediately sad, it hits Venus like a punch in the gut, and you can’t help but feel sad for her.  She is vulnerable, and sweet; and Tig is the macho guy who is hiding his emotions like a guy is supposed to do (if you listen to the cliches and stereotypes).  

That’s what Venus is talking about when she talks about being in the box.  She is talking about being who you are, or who you are suppose to be versus being what society tells you you have to be.  Loving who you have to love, in the WAY that society says you are supposed to love.  The husband, the wife, the kids, the picket fence, the quote “normal” heterosexual love.  Society even tells the LGBTQ community how they should love.  Ok - you are a man, who loves a man - fine.  But you have to love him like a woman.  Or you are a woman who loves a woman, but you have to love her the same way straight women love men.  You can be of the same gender, but you still must behave like a straight couple.  Society has created these other boxes now, to allow your predisposition, but you still have to be in one of those boxes.  

Gender is also a very big BOX.   Male.  Female.  But there is all things in between.  And varying degrees of in between. All outside those two boxes.  And even varying degrees even inside the boxes.  Transgender folks battle this categorization in their own psyche for most of their lives.  Some debating if they are in the right box.  Should they change boxes?  Which box is the right box?  What if you don’t belong in either box?  or there isn't a box that quite fits you? Even Venus says that she has her own “complicated identity”.   

Venus knows her box well.  She is a transgender woman.  She has fought to accept herself, and to love herself, and she will not give up on that.  She doesn't want to change who she is for anyone.  She says she knows there are things that come with her accepting and embracing her own identity.  Venus says that she has stepped out of that box.  She has fallen in love when she wasn't supposed to.  She knew her ‘place’ and yet she stepped out of her ‘place’.  She knows she has to rein it in.  Maybe take some time away from Tig to find her way back to her ‘place’ again.

Tig/Alexander’s reaction is vague at first. He speaks about secrets and opening himself up to her.  He hints at the danger of that.  His words are reminiscent of the stereotypical macho thing - the closed off emotions, the hiding things beneath a great big protective wall.  But he knows he can’t do that with Venus.  He opens himself up, he reveals all to her.   Even all that Tig has done, and been through, Venus still loves him.  Warts and all (as the saying goes). This would be cliche relationship dialogue - the guy admitting his vulnerability to the chick - except this not a regular chick, this is Venus.  This is transgender-woman in a man’s body, Venus.  And Tig wants her just the way she is.  He says she is beautiful.  He wants to hold her hand, take her out on the town, be proud of what they have - whether it is in or out of ‘the box’.  

Chillingly beautiful.  Never have I watched a scene so romantic, realistic, and beautiful between a complicated couple as Tig and Venus.  

Walton Goggins is not a male actor pretending to be a man/ woman.  He takes the role one step further, and portrays Venus as a complex human being, regardless of her gender or gender identity.  He strips her down to the bare emotion, and what she believes and feels.  He does not give us the caricature of the transgender, even dare I say cross dressing (because some of our society still sees Venus as this) Venus.  Goggins wears the sheath of Venus like a second skin, and it fits perfectly; that you forget Goggins completely, and it is only Venus.

Kim Coates portrays the horrible, demented, vile, violent Tig.  But, in this scene, Coates teaches us that it is not Tig that is horrible, demented, vile and violent - but only his actions are.  He has no false pretenses about who he is, and what he has done; and never has he been loved or accepted fully considering these things.  Especially not inside of the boxes that society has given him.  But Venus loves him.  And that is strong enough for him to say to hell with those boxes.  Those boxes don’t mean anything.  He has a beautiful woman who loves him, and he wants that love, no matter if its in a box or not.

Thank you Sons of Anarchy.  Thank you Walton & Kim. 

Bravo.